Hard To Read

If there's one thing Dave knows he is never going to get used to, it is Terezi.

Every now and again something happens and Dave says, "Well, I think that's it." And then Terezi does something completely fucking weird and then Dave says, "I give up." The chick was a handful. Sometimes, he wanted to break her neck.

And sometimes he wanted to just… fuck, he hates admitting this gay ass shit but sometimes Dave just wants to fucking lay down with her or something, he doesn't know. He never knew. And he's pretty damn sure he never will know.

Once he has Terezi labeled as that fuck-crazy alien chick with the shit-eating grin, she pulls something really sweet and kinda c-cute and Dave has to rewrite her as sweet precious adorable 'Rezi. Something really sweet and cute like…

"Hey, read this to me."

Dave has never read anything to anyone. He doesn't spend lots of time at daycares, you see. For a moment, he stares on at the TV like it is going to provide the answer to the question, 'what the fuck is wrong with this girl?'

"Uh," He says, after clumsily reaching for the remote and turning his TV off {Now how will he know which cake was the best on Cake Boss? How? The things he does for Terezi are unreal – the sacrifices he makes astounding}. "Kay. Sure, I guess, uh, why?"

She purses her black lips into a cute sort of pout and tosses the book into Dave's lap. "Because if I wanna read it, I have to lick it. And you told me not to lick all over your shit, so read it to me."

With a long sigh, Dave takes his sunglasses off – something he really only does in front of Terezi – and reaches into his lap and picks up the book and—wait, what? "'Rezi, this is a magazine. Where did you even—"

"Your mail," she says curtly, and with that, she plops onto the sofa in front of Dave and crawls forward. "What does it say, inside?"

"Well—" Dave would answer that question, but before he can really even open his mouth, Terezi reaches up and gropes his face, her fingers searching for his glasses, and if her hand wasn't covering his now visible eyes, Dave would've been able to see the smile that crawled onto her face at the fact. She scoots just a little bit closer, then reaches up to takes her own glasses off, setting them on the coffee table next to Dave's.

And then she smiles at him, not showing her teeth. Dave, with his disheveled hair and deadpan expression, only stares, Magazine in hand. "You done, sweetheart?"

"Yeah."

"Awesome. Now just, uh…" Dave looks around, then after a moment raises his arms and sighs in defeat. "C'mere."

With a squeal of delight, Terezi climbs into his lap, giving his face a quick sniff before turning around and laying against his chest contently. He nuzzles into his front for a moment, before sighing through her nose and smiling at the magazine in Dave's hand. "Alright, now, what does it say?"

"Ahh, a bunch of useless shit, actually." Lazily flipping through the pages of the magazine, Dave rests his head on the top of Terezi's head, minding her horns, and settles into a comfortable position with her. "Wanna read about your horoscope?"

"My what?" Terezi tilts her head back, attempting to get a good whiff of Dave's face to read his features. "The hell is a horoscope?"

"It's a, um. Fuck, uh. You know what, I'll just show you." She's cute, Dave'll give her that; but she's definitely a pain in the ass. Just a very sweet, touchy-feely pain in the ass. "Here we go, Libra. It says you're gonna be a creepy little shit all day."

"Lemme see that!" Terezi shoots up and reaches for the magazine so fast she almost impales Dave's face with those sharp little fuckers on her head. She presses it close to her face and inhales deeply, wiggling in Dave's lap for a moment. "Heehee! It says I'll have good luck all week and should wear red!"

"Red," Dave says, leaning back on the arm of the couch tiredly. "The common troll's cocaine."

"You hear that, redboy?" Tossing the magazine over the back of the couch, Terezi turns in Dave's lap, facing him now. "Says I should wear red."

"Huh?" Dave looks up for a second, just to catch a glance of Terezi's trade-mark billions-of-teeth smile, and then lets his head fall back again. "Oh. Yep, yep it did. You'd better go find some money to buy a new wardrobe with."

Terezi cackles then, her high-pitched laugh filling up the room, and Dave's used to that, but he's not used to her tugging at the hem of his shirt. "I don't need to buy a thing, I've got you, redboy."

"'Rezi, I know you want me babe, but let's not—"

He doesn't say anymore because Terezi tugs his shirt off so quickly he doesn't have enough time to shoot something witty out. And when she's done, she just pulls on top of her own shirt and sits there, straddling his hips. "See?" she says, snuggling into the too-big shirt. "Nice and red, and free, too!"

Dave doesn't say anything. He just stares at Terezi, and realizes that this relationship, whatever the fuck it is, quadrants, dating, all of that shit, will never be normal. He can't say he minds though. Cool people can't be bored, and Dave is just too cool.

With the quiet, Terezi leans in and sniffs his face, her expression curious. "Why are you so hard to read, coolkid?" She asks, her voice as scratchy-sweet as usual as she licks the side of his face.

"I-I don't know, sweetheart," Dave answers, placing a hand on her back and pulling her the slightest bit closer. "I just don't know."